I am a mixture of emotions today as you turn two. TWO! How can time fly by so fast like that? I remember being woken up in the hospital by your daddy so I could meet you for the very first time two years ago. You were so tiny!
Instantly, as I saw your sweet little face, I burst into tears, because my heart swelled so much with love that it couldn’t help keep it all inside; the only way to physically show it was through the happy tears.
And here we are, you are a walking and talking wonder. You make me so proud of the little girl you are shaping up to be. You are so warm and friendly with the big smile and sparkly eyes you greet everybody with. You show your love to our family and friends easily with your hugs and kisses. People are amazed how polite you are with your on point (and frequent) “tankyu” and “pweeez” phrases. That alone is indication that I am somehow doing something right even though I have no idea what I am up for half the time with mothering.
You see, it’s not always easy. Being responsible for somebody else doesn’t come without challenges, especially for someone like your Mama who doesn’t have a lot of patience normally. I know, I have to work on that. But, I have to be honest with you that I do get overwhelmed sometimes. It gets tricky when there’s too much going on, clutter and noise at the same time. I am finding ways of coping with these challenges better, so I am not quick to raise my voice or lose my temper and take it out on you and Daddy. Please don’t worry or take it against me when I say that I need some time to myself. You will grow to realize that it is good for everybody to have some quiet time to themselves. It helps clear our heads and fortifies the soul. It only means that I can be better at being myself for you, daddy and especially me, afterwards.
Seeing you find your way everyday alone inspires me to be the best person I can be. Your zest for everything you do is quite amazing. You pick up words and activities so quickly. You are a natural with art and music. Somehow too, you show me that you are incredibly more mechanically inclined than I could ever be… you investigate a toy in and out, to see how it fully works.
You may say that I see you with biased awe and eyes.
I say I see you love and pride.
I cannot express how much I love you. No mama can ever do that for their child. It only takes being a mama yourself for you to know. And if you do so choose to be and are lucky enough to become one, no matter what way – your answer will be right in front of you, in your child. Just like me, the luckiest mama there is, because you made me into one.
It is your birthday, and you will get presents, yes. But this day every year, I am the one who continues to receive the best present I could ever get. And that is YOU, my sweet little love. My sweet Eleanor.