Another round of firsts for us around here, yay!
My mini has been ‘Montessorized’ this fall at 2.5 years old. What is the big implication of this? Before this weekend, I was all “independent thinking”, “practical life skills”, “developing love of learning”. Yes, yes, check!
Not so fast! While all of those are well and good — I haven’t been privy to what seasoned parents know as the FIRST YEAR OF BRINGING and PASSING GERMS FROM SCHOOL PHENOMENON… until now. You really don’t know anything until people shake you into reality via Facebook.
As I naively posted:
Billy said: First month? Sorry Aggie, first year! The average child gets between 10 and 20 viral infections in their first year at school. Kids are gross!
Kristina said: Don’t you remember my story of “the licker?” As in the child was licking his hand and wooden blocks as he stood watching me drop off A. The same child who happened to give me a hug from behind as I bent down to say goodbye to her.
To the somewhat sympathetic, but better junker down and stock up on Purell and tissues:
Wendi: I feel your pain. I don’t think W’s nose stopped running his entire first year of school.
Jenn: Sorry Mags, the Mr and I spent at least the first year sicker than we had ever been.
Roxanne: I got a call from daycare mid morning on my first day back to work from mat leave. Little R had a fever. And I was not to return her for 24 hours (policy). I had started her in daycare the week prior “to ease her in”. Lol. Good luck!
Chandra: The first year of daycare/school is brutal. My kids had permanent runny noses with an added actual illness every month or so. Very taxing. It does get better. Hang in there.
To add insult to injury, my sweet and mostly agreeable toddler had turn into a weird, torturous and oppressive despot. She didn’t want to sleep – not because she wasn’t feeling well, but just because she was into torturing her parents as though she was one of the guards in Gitmo. No amount of cajoling or soft cooing talk can lull her back to sleep. I had to cancel all plans – I was set to go to a conference Monday-Tuesday, and I was so looking forward to it for weeks: new people to meet, new things to learn, and most of all, ONE glorious night of sleeping alone, uninterrupted in a beautiful hotel room overlooking Lake Ontario. All plans squashed by my sick toddler tyrant. I had to steer clear from Twitter so I didn’t have to know what great time I was missing.
On a mama group I joined on Facebook, I just had to rant:
“No one got any sleep last night because my currently sick and home from school 2yo DIDN’T WANT TO. She was up with me from 12-2:30 am. Hubby had to take her downstairs and she was wide awake and walking all over the place. He fell asleep on the couch at 4 am and when he woke up around 5:30 he found her passed out on the the living room carpet. When he put a blanket on her around 7am, she woke up angry and said that she didn’t want blankie and was annoyed with him the whole time.
Currently, she is tearing our house apart just because she feels like so and she can. I just close my eyes and pretend that my cleaning lady just finished her shift and it’s 2012, pre-kid.
We are both barking like seals from the grossness she got from the cesspool of germs she calls school. I don’t have any energy to argue or parent today, so my mantra today: fuck it. Because inside me, there are no more available fucks to be given.
Hopefully, your day is faring better than mine. Or at least, you don’t sound or look like Miss Hannigan (as I do right now) in the original version of Annie.”
Luckily, the mamas in this group are like-minded and as awesome as they come. No stepford wives, no overly peppy Polyannas, nor are any Judge Judies allowed in. Thank goodness, because I want realness. Realness in the sense that I haven’t showered at all today; realness in that my house looks as though it has been burgled and all our ransacked belongings are on the floor. This has been a day of horizontal parenting. If I am vertical, it’s because I need to go to the bathroom to pee or, I’m currently sitting to type this post. PBS Kids and Treehouse have come in to babysit for me today. I don’t care about the screen time rules for kids today. Whoever came up with the limited screen time rule can come and take over for me while I continue to nap on the couch. They can also make dinner for my husband, because he’s about to get left overs from the dinner he made for me last night.
That’s motherhood realness for you all today. Pretty freaking glamourous, isn’t it?
Also, thanks, Facebook. Thanks for the life lessons and camaraderie. It almost makes it feel like I went out of my way to wash and dry my hair, be seen in public and have an amazing social network to keep me occupied and entertained, even though only ONE of those things are true today.